Remembering 9-11

I know it's been 10 years. But for some reason this year I really took it all in differently.  We watched a few news specials and I read a bunch of stories online.  Personal stories from various people involved in all that happened 10 years ago.  We even listened to all the air control audio on 9-11.  Crazy sad. I've cried quite a few times this weekend.  Am I weird?  Maybe.  I just have been really touched--reliving and thinking about this all again.  Tonight, we went to a community event that my father-in-law sang in.  It was really touching.  The opening prayer was a Muslim student at the university.  It was nice to feel like all the building were there in one cause-even though our religious backgrounds were very different than each other.  It didn't matter.  That to me is one of the great blessings that has come from such a national tragedy.
We all now have something in common. 

So much has happened since then. But I can remember that day like it was yesterday.

I was in college-My sophomore year in fact.  I was sitting in my 8:30 am English class in the education building up at USU.  I remember my teacher being interrupted by someone and then told us what happened.  I remember walking out of the class feeling calm and glad that I lived in a safe place.  I also felt that we were definitely in the last days.  I also wanted to call my family.  My next class was cancelled and I headed home to my basement apartment and turned on the TV.  A bunch of friends gathered and we were glued to the coverage for quite a while.  That night, my roommate Emily and I went down the street to get gas.  Everyone was a little uneasy about what was going to happen.  Was gas going to sky rocket?  Were we now at war?   The gas stations were packed.  I remember Emily getting out and offering to wash others windows.  Funny girl.  Two days later at the university there was a candlelight vigil.  The choir I was a part of sang in it.  We sang "Be Still My Soul" and that song will always remind me of that experience.  I'll always remember the spirit I felt singing at that.  We were amist over 1000+ college students holding candles.  When it was all over-nobody really wanted to leave.  Someone in the crowd started to sing God Bless America.  I don't think I sang a single word.

Maybe one of the reasons 9-11 feels different now is from our visit to NYC last month.  Ground Zero isn't just a place I'd heard about, but a place that I recently stood.  It truly is sacred ground.  I kept saying to Mark that I couldn't believe we were standing in places where all of this happened that has marked a large spot in America's history.  They have a visitors center that chronicles all the events of that day.  Everyone was quiet and their was a movie playing with testimonials.

A piece of the bent steel from World Trade Center 1

We didn't get to see down into the reflection pools-they weren't turned on then. And it was under construction-so it was difficult to get a good look at what was going on.

September 11th has changed me.  After what I've thought, heard and read about this weekend I am changed.  After listening to all the mother's and wives whose husbands called them from inside the airplanes or top floors-I just couldn't believe my ears.  And then the husband from the 92nd floor telling his wife that they tried to go down the stairs, but that it was so hot and the smoke was too thick they were forced back up the stairs.  The wife and husband talk during these last minutes and try to problem solve how to best get him out.  The husband says he has now walked up to the 105th floor to try to get out of a door that leads to the top and hope he could get rescued there.  But the door won't open. Just listening to the wife plead with her husband to try the door again. Please try the door again.  I just couldn't take it anymore.
Then they said their goodbyes.
 How can you not be changed by this?

I couldn't get enough of reading about the hero's of 9-11.  The employees that wouldn't get out until they knew everyone on their floor was in the stair well.  So many, many stories.  The stewardess that called her husband and told him that she was boiling water on the plane to throw on the hijackers.  And the show that moved us the most was the actual documentary of a firefighter that took raw footage inside the towers.
Those firefighters are real heroes.   

I've changed this week.  I rocked and sang to my baby Conner a little longer tonight.  I tried really hard to not get frustrated with Caden's millionth question today.  I gave Mark a hug and an extra kiss today.  I will try my best to remember this all year long and not just today.  We are blessed to have all that we have.  You never know what will come tomorrow, but we do know how we can react today.
We are the proponent of change that is necessary for the world today.

I'm sorry that 9-11 happened, but from these tough, tough experiences, we have to change-
or all those lives are lost and gone in vain, and the bad guys will have won.